When i was sleeping in my tent we had some secret stashes in our tent. Like chips and lollies then miss Garden came with her bright torch and told us to got to sleep because when we were eating she could hear us eating.
What and amazing story, I really liked your sentences. Good to see you adding detail. You really got good words, like bright torch. What kind of lollie you ate when sleeping in a tent? You've done a great writing Taniela but, I think you done two mistakes in your writing, you done got in stead of get. I think you should read it out to your self and then you could get a much better story next time. And there is one more mistake in your writing and that is, when you said eating two times in your sentence. It doesn't make much sence. Good story by the way, happy easter.
3 comments:
Good attempt at adding detail to your second sentence Taniela.
Hi Taniela,
What and amazing story, I really liked your sentences. Good to see you adding detail. You really got good words, like bright torch. What kind of lollie you ate when sleeping in a tent? You've done a great writing Taniela but, I think you done two mistakes in your writing, you done got in stead of get. I think you should read it out to your self and then you could get a much better story next time. And there is one more mistake in your writing and that is, when you said eating two times in your sentence. It doesn't make much sence. Good story by the way, happy easter.
Hi taniela ,
You have added good word to your second sentece .I hope you had fun at camp .I was in anorther team so I didn't see you that much.
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